I wrote character words around the outside of mine, colored my public face purple (duh) and used a variety of colors to represent my insides. The mask I wear for the “public” isn’t fake or a contrived persona. It’s just the best part of me—the parts my parents would be proud of. Inside? I’m a big, hot mess. I bill my competitive streak as tenacity. I cover up my confusion with determination. And, I hide my hurt with defiance.

What’s interesting to me, though, is that I’m completely open, honest and transparent here. In our discussion, I think I nailed down the reason. Here, you can only stop reading. And, I’m okay with that. In real life? People have the power to hurt me. Here, I can hide behind my computer and pretend no one reads my words. Out there? In the real world? What if they don’t like me?

So, I blog. I blog about the things I can’t talk about to people in my life. I blog about the things I’m excited about but think no one else will care. I blog about the worst parts of me I wouldn’t admit to my best friend. Because it’s freeing. And, sometimes? I find that people do care. People do relate. And? People still like me. So, I’m working on taking off the mask in real life a little.

If I hadn’t been real, if I weren’t all me with MFJ, we wouldn’t be planning a vacation together right now. If I hadn’t opened up, made myself vulnerable and let Spencer see all of me, we wouldn’t have reconnected the way we did. Yes, even the hubby was kept at a distance—out of fear, mostly. I’ve been letting it go a little, peeking out from behind my mask and thrilled to find that he loves me anyway.

What does your mask look like? What are you hiding from?

1. Noodles taste better when they’re homemade with love.
2. Every little girl needs a new dress for Easter.
3. You can never have too much food or too many guests at the table.
4. Preserving produce for the winter is a team effort.
5. The candy jar should always be full.
6. Cross-stitching keeps your hands busy, but crosswords keep your mind sharp.
7. Babies are always a blessing.
8. It doesn’t matter what day you celebrate a holiday, as long as you’re with family.
9. If the basement is flooded, move the party upstairs.
10. Being part of a couple doesn’t have to mean losing yourself.

Happy birthday, Nana! I love you.

This is one of the 40×40 items I’m working on for the year. I have come a long way, truly. I think most of my fall/winter wardrobe is pretty good but I still have to make it through the spring & summer before I can cross it off the list. Teaching Lorelai how to take pictures on my phone has been a big key. She sends pictures to MFJ for approval, and I’m starting to pick up on what looks best. I also made huge leaps & bounds earlier this month with one, single article of clothing.

My Blissdom roomie won a Yummie Tummie fitting—and returned to our room looking absolutely fabulous! I was super jealous of her new Yummie Tummie and mentioned that to their PR gal when I met her at a cocktail party later that evening. She rustled up a tank top in my size, and it’s changing everything. With my Yummie Tummie, I can shop from the back of my closet or rock my favorite shirts solo instead of under a baggie hoodie.

I got so many comments last weekend about how great I looked. I finally admitted to my mom & sis that it was a bit of an illusion. I’ve stuffed myself into Spanx before (okay, their Target low-end brand) but this is much more comfortable. It’s just like wearing a t-shirt. That hides all your momma bits. It’s like dropping a size just by wearing an undershirt! Of course, this presents an entirely new problem as several of my jeans no longer fit. Are belts in style? I just never know these things—I told you I was a disaster.

I like the idea of being a size smaller, though, especially as I shop for bridesmaid gowns with my sister. (Yep, working on #33 next!) The new Slippie is coming to my fitting with me. In fact, I’m ready to buy one in every style—and my mom wants one too. The price tag no longer scares me—it will be the best $68 I’ve ever spent. But, I will definitely keep my eye out for a coupon! It’s just what I do.

I was given a free Yummie Tummie at Blissdom (because I am super charming after 2 martinis). However, I was not asked to write this review and the opinion is 100% mine.

When Deb invited me to join her Mom Bloggers panel at Affiliate Summit West, I jumped at the chance, especially since Vegas is on the hubby’s 40×40 list too! Combining a few days of vacation travel with a business trip sounded like the most inexpensive way to make it happen. We headed to Las Vegas a few days before the conference, got married by Elvis on our first day there, and spent the rest of the weekend exploring the strip.

Doing Vegas on a budget meant we weren’t planning to spend a ton of money on shows. I checked out a huge list of free things to do in Vegas, and discovered the popular Show in the Sky Parade is in the conference hotel. We managed to stumble on it our first night of the conference. In the meantime, we checked out the lions at MGM, watched the fountains at the Bellagio and saw the Volcano Eruption at the Mirage.

Our most anticipated—and geekiest—part of the weekend was not entirely free. It appeared on the free list because there is no admission fee, but we did have to take a cab off the strip. It was way, way worth it and the rest of our afternoon at the Pinball Hall of Fame Museum cost just one roll of quarters! There were pinball machines from the 70s, 80s, 90s and current models—play was at the original cost.

I played Star Wars pinball, Super Mario pinball, Q-Bert pinball and so many more! I also spent a single quarter playing Asteroids—and had a blast watching the hubby spend $3 trying to beat my high score. If we ever make it back to Vegas, this is definitely on the list again. Of course, a return trip to Vegas is practically guaranteed. The New York roller coaster was on the hubby’s 40×40 but it was closed for repair during our entire stay!

We did get see it, though, along with Ceasar’s Palace, Paris, Flamingo and Harrah’s. It was pretty much our goal to walk through every well known casino. We’re not huge gamblers, but it was tons of fun anyway. We did try our hand at Craps but my only money maker was the sports pit. If only the hubby had given me a larger gambling allowance in there! Next time, maybe he’ll have more faith in my sports knowledge.

Because there will be a next time! (Hopefully soon.)

So amazing to finally meet my online friend Mindy. We've 'known' one another since Al Gore invented the internet. Huge thanks to Moosh in Indy for the pic.

Southern Fairy Tale and Moosh in Indy

My roomie, Angie from Just Like the Number

Real life hugs from Alli! (Photo by Alli, via Whrrl)

Because I am determined to find my bliss!

Speakers

Mary Anne Beasley, @thestilettomom
Melanie Sheridan, @adramaticmommy
Michelle Lamar (Gloss Inc), @michellelamar
Tsh Oxenrider, @simplemom
Paula Bruno, One2One Network, @paulabruno

Content is king.
Develop a niche. Keep it uncluttered—advertisers don’t want to invest in “real estate” on your blog when the sidebar is full of clutter.
Melanie: Give yourself permission to not write every day. When you do write, write well.

Clean up your act.
Paula: You want to make it easier for advertisers to want to advertise on your blog.
Tsh: You don’t need a lot of sidebar, chotsky widgets if you want to make money on your blog.
Melanie: Consider your theme—be sure it is advertiser friendly. Find something that is clean and supports where you want to go.

Be careful what/how you review.
Mary Anne: Advertisers want to be sure you are not writing things that conflict with their ads.

Know Your Stats
Mary Anne: Be ready to tell people how many people you reach.
Tsh: Be able to speak to your “influencer” status. It isn’t always about the numbers. If your readers are extremely loyal or you are influential in some way, be able to present that information.
Mary Anne: Talk about what kind of social footprint you have.

Key words you need to know
CPM: Cost per thousand pageviews
Market averages: Widely varies, typically higher for a niche. This session is using a $5 average CPM.
Uniques vs. Pageviews: Unique is number of individual people coming to your site. Pageviews is how many times your site was viewed total. You sell pageviews, but advertisers typically want to know about uniques.
CTR: Click Thru Rate—the percentage of pageviews that actually clicked to the site.
CPC: You only get paid when someone clicks.
Comscore: The Gold Standard among ad agencies, but you have to be a big site to be measured. Also use Quantcast.

What do you do when your stat counters are so different?
Mary Anne: Use the one that makes you look better and see if you can get away with it.
Tsh: Most companies understand Google Analytics better so I just use that.

What is an Ad Network?
Mary Anne: Sell ads for a group collectively. (Glam, BlogHer, Juicebox Jungle, etc)
Pros/Cons: You get big brands advertising and it makes your site look good. You also have less control, though.
Expectations: You need to stick with your content niche. Most will require above the fold placement. Some won’t let you have reviews on the site.
Different ways to make money: Some will offer editorial integrations.
Melanie: I have to weigh how much I want to write about the topic vs. how my readers will feel about paid editorial content.
Read the fine print!
Mary Anne: The devil is in the details.
Paula: Think about what you really want to do over the course of the contract.

Tsh: Runs only private ads for complete creative control. More time consuming.
Michelle: Be very specific about your audience to filter out ads.
Mel: “This is why I go through an ad network.” Willing to give up 50% of revenue to ad networks in exchange for extra time to spend on content & community.

How much should be charging for CPM ad?
Tsh: Works with small businesses who can’t afford higher rates, but that’s who she wants to support.
Audience: Federated sells mom blog ads for $10-15 CPM, and pays us half.
Mary Anne: It depends on the blog, the niche and the market.

Final Thoughts:
Michelle: Keep track of your stats. Don’t sell yourself short.
Mary Anne: It’s a business. You have to treat it as such.

Speakers:

Heather Solos, @heathersolos
Nester Smith, @thenester
Jennifer Schmidt, @beautyandbedlam
Sommer Poquette, @greenmom
Rachel Matthews, @sthrnfairytale
Audrey McClelland, @AudreyMcCellan

If you have a lot of frugal aspects on your blog. How does that affect your PR?
Jennifer: Doesn’t shop at a lot of stores so it makes it tough to find sponsors. Goodwill loves her but she’s learning to work with brands, not stores, that have lasting value.

Let’s talk about the elephant in the room—money.
Sommer: Be strategic. Think about your niche. Think about your
Rachel: Makes money with ads but only because she likes the content in them. Works as a spokesperson for some foods, but only when she can support it.
Nester: Think about things that are a great fit for your niche instead of chasing everyone.
Do you see other blogs in your niche as competition or community?
Huge round of absolutely not!
Sommer: Help others in your niche, they’ll help you and it all comes back to you.
Audrey: There’s power in numbers. People get caught up in traffic numbers, but when you come together with 4-5 other women, you can approach a company together.
Sommer: Reading other blogs in your niche can give you inspiration on another post.
Rachel: There’s power in your community. You are a family. Support each other, love each other, share.
Nester: Recommends Tribes: We Need You to Lead Us by Seth Godin: Know your tribe and get to know them.
Jennifer: If we drop that competitive edge a little, we’ll all succeed.

Community: How do you define your niche with your readers?
Jennifer: Be specific with your readers in your about page. Define you terms. Use a tag line.
Rachel: Your tag line is powerful. It can lead people into wanting to know more. You can rebrand yourself at anytime.

Can you rebrand yourself and refocus your niche at anytime without losing your readers?
Rachel: They’re going to come or go, regardless. Write for you. Write what you know.
Audrey: People read because you have content they want. The people who will leave aren’t the ones you want anyway.
Rachel: Be you. When people meet you in person, they should already know you through your blog.

Writing in a niche can lead people to view you as an authority. How do you feel about that?
Nester: You should become an authority in your tribe.
Rachel: Own it. If you aren’t entirely sure about something, write is if you are. When people ask you questions about something in your niche, you have a blog post right there. If one person asks, ten more want to know.
Sommer: You do have to be careful, especially when you are writing about products or ingredients. If you don’t know, send your readers to someone who does.
Jennifer: “I totally share that I screw up a whole lot.” This question depends on what kind of voice you want to share.
Audrey: The beauty niche is very subjective. It’s more opinion than fact.

How do you deal with the issues involved in being an expert?
Sommer: Get an LLC and insurance. You can also hire an attorney to help be sure you’re protected.
Jennifer: Also has an LLC. (Me too!)
Heather: Sometimes, it’s okay to say you can’t help.

How do you overcome outside perceptions of your niche?
Jennifer: Do a survey, get some demographics to show potential advertisers.
Rachel: Your social footprint is huge and they should look for that.
Heather: Some of it is on us to know our readers and our numbers to share with them.

What do you do when you don’t want to post in your niche?
Sommer: Ask to guest post with someone in another niche. Write a blog post on a Ning network—it can be about anything you want.
Nester: You can also post unrelated things on your Facebook page, where the fans are more interested in community.