Fifteen years ago today, I married my best friend — and it nearly destroyed us.

We spent years trying to be everything to one another. But when you rely on just one person for everything, you lose yourself a little bit. One of the greatest things I’ve ever done for my relationship with Spencer is find girlfriends.

I have friends to hang out with when we just need a break from one another. I have mom friends who get the day in and day out of my life. I have friends who make me laugh or let me cry. I have friends who support my relationship or let me complain about it.

My friends helped me find myself far better than my husband ever could. Because they were separate from me. Spencer and I are just so entwined after 15 years. Getting married young, having a baby a few months later — we grew up together. And, for awhile there, we grew apart.

The key was remembering we’d always wanted to grow old together. No matter who my friends are, what I’m doing or where I am, at the end of the day, Spencer is still the one I want to hear my stories. He’s not my best friend anymore, but we’re so much better for it. Oh, we’re still friends — talking, laughing, spending time together — but he’s so much more now.

Instead of trying to be everything I ever needed in a friend, he can be my love, my life, my soul mate. This man? He’s my heart and soul. He’s the link to my youth. He’s the dream for my future. He’s the one I want now and always.

Even after 15 years.