A couple weeks ago, I was standing behind Spencer and leaned forward to kiss the back of his neck—as I always do when I find myself in that position. Except, I couldn’t reach. I had to stand on my toes to kiss my favorite spot.

Confused, I realized it’s because I’ve always worn heels when I do this. Weird, since I’ve been wearing heels for less than 2 years.

In my head, this is something I’ve always done. In reality, there were huge chunks of time when I wasn’t interested in kissing him at all.

As we headed down the path of reconciliation & rebuilt our marriage, date night was a major part of the plan. We concocted the alphabet dating scheme as a way to make dating fun again—and to be sure we kept it on the priority list. We’ve reconnected, learned to communicate better in between dates and fallen in love all over again.

That part was kind of an accident. I just wanted to be able to live together, without the constant bickering. But, being in love with your husband? Is pretty much awesome.

And, it’s not just the date nights keeping us going anymore. Last week, we went out for the first time since June—that’s almost 9 whole months, if you’re counting. A few years ago, a span like that would have found us bickering nonstop and ready to call it quits (again). Now, it’s just a welcome break from our everyday lives.

Between dates, we’re talking instead of arguing and sharing our lives instead of isolating one another. I’m almost willing to say we’re starting to figure this marriage thing out—it only took us 13 years. Except, I know we’ll have rough patches again. The difference is, next time, we’ll be ready for it. And, we’ll confront it head on together.

And, that is our happily ever after.