Just Heather
1
Lucky 13
Aug 30, 2010 | Filed Under: Behind the Mask, Love Him

Thirteen years ago today, I said, “I do.” Earlier this year, I did it again. Each wedding meant something big to me, but anniversaries? I’m not really the type.

I’m not the girl who remembers the day of our first kiss. I couldn’t tell you the night of our first date. I can’t recall the date he proposed. What I remember are the feelings—the giddy, butterflies-in-your-stomach, never going to forget this moment feelings.

The dates are fleeting in my memory, but, the wedding date? Well, I wrote it down. And, so we celebrate year after year—it’s nice to mark the time and know we’re still making it. He’s still the one. We’re beating the odds. And, we’d do it all over again.

Usually, though, we celebrate on a weekend surrounding our wedding. This year, we’re booked until October. So, when I realized how much free time I was going to have now that Lorelai is in preschool, I suggested a morning date after dropping the girls at school.

I thought we could turn it in to our Letter M alphabet date, originally slated to be an afternoon at museums, but with 3 kids we’re nothing, if not flexible. I pictured a leisurely morning in bed, content just to snuggle in the peace & quiet, a walk through our small town & a late lunch at a quiet cafe before preschool pickup.

He pictured something else entirely. I think the biggest problem, there, is I didn’t let him know what I had in mind. So, when he rushed me to get ready, brushed past me without commentary on the care I took to get ready and told me we had to hurry so he could get to work, he didn’t understand why I was upset.

We parked in front of a local diner and tried to talk it out, but a whole mess of other stuff managed to come up. I’m sure to passersby, we just looked like we were waiting for something. And, I think we usually are. We’re waiting for life to get easier. Waiting for the other shoe to drop. Waiting for our thoughts & goals to just mesh.

Without a lot of thought or conversation about how we’re going to make that happen. So, our morning date was canceled in favor of talking. And tears. And more talking. We’ve still got a mess of stuff to figure out, but who doesn’t? We’ll just have to keep talking and figure it out.

Because we’ve still got half the alphabet to get through. Not to mention the rest of our lives. And, I’ll marry him again if I have to. Next time, I want the princess gown & a castle. Not that I’ve put a lot of thought into it or anything.

Read the comments.
0
34. Picnic at the ocean.
Aug 28, 2010 | Filed Under: 40x40

I added this one to my 40×40 list on a bit of a whim—it just sounded so idyllic. The sun setting on a gorgeous day at the beach. The waves lapping at your feet. The children enjoying our picnic lunch before building a sandcastle, flying kites or hunting for seashells…

I sort of didn’t think about the sand all over your picnic blanket. I didn’t consider the seagulls swarming nearby. And, I was clearly picturing someone else’s children—3 adorable blonds who didn’t fight, whine or sulk through every meal.

We did enjoy building a sandcastle, flying kites & hunting for seashells throughout our week at Myrtle Beach, but those are stories for another day. As for picnicking at the ocean? I’ve pretty much decided it’s no picnic—and I’m never doing it again.

But, at least I get to cross it off the list!

0
Chasing #27: Attend a Fever Game.
Aug 12, 2010 | Filed Under: 40x40, Go Team!

The Pacers.

The Colts.

Supercross.

The Brickyard.

I’ve done it (almost) all. And, when One2One Network offered to send my family and I to a Fever game, I got a step closer to attending every major sporting event in the Indianapolis area. (#27 on the list, if you’re counting.) It was the girls’ first experience at a game, in their memory anyway and all 3 loved it.

Yes, even Stacia who is usually way too cool for family night. Brenia was obsessed with the score—she didn’t just want to win; she wanted to see the Fever cross 100. I tried to tell her WNBA games tend to score lower than men’s, but she didn’t give up.

And, neither did the Fever. “The girls” just seem to play with more intensity. I wonder if it’s because they have more to prove…? I have been to no less than a dozen Pacer games over the years, but this was a completely different experience. Their final score was, indeed, 100. Brenia was beyond excited!

Even Lorelai did well at this event. She’s not really one to sit still, and I think taking her to a venue filled with excitement & noise was perfect. I thought she’d be over it once the cotton candy was gone, but we were in luck—in celebration of Freddy’s birthday, mascots from across Indiana showed up for fun & games.

We enjoyed the game, the mascot shows and our autograph session at the end. Tully Bevilaqua and Tamika Catchings were truly gracious. They spent time chatting with my girls, signed all of our shirts and I can’t wait to see them play again. There’s only a couple more weeks left in this season, but if you want to see them in action, One2One Network has a coupon code for you!

Buy one Fever ticket, get one free when you use coupon code WNBABLOG. The coupon code is also good for discounts with teams across the league—have fun!

I received a family pack of tickets through One2One Network to facilitate this review.

3
Stick a Needle in My Eye
Jul 21, 2010 | Filed Under: Sick & Tired

On Monday, I visited a retinal specialist to see what could be done about my eye problem. I knew I had macular degeneration, caused by retinal bleeding. What I didn’t know was what they were going to do about it.

Turns out? They wanted to stick a needle in my eye. In. My. Eye. A needle—did I mention that? Maybe praying I wouldn’t need surgery wasn’t such a good idea.

(Dear God, Very funny. Love, Me.)

Surgery is an option, but he wanted to try medication first. It’s actually a cancer medication called Avastin but has been used successfully for years in this off-label use. The problem? They have to inject it directly into my eyeball every 6 weeks until the blood vessels shrink and the swelling goes down.

After that, “maybe” I’ll get my vision back. They “hope” to see improvement over the next year. But, hey—I’m young! And, he’s “always surprised” by how well we “young people” do. While none of that is at all encouraging, it did help to know my right eye is fine(ish).

The retinal bleed is caused by ocular histoplasmosis. And, before you ask, no. I didn’t grow up on a chicken farm! This is an adult complication from a fungal infection in childhood, typically associated with chicken coupes.

I had never even seen a chicken coupe until a school field trip just a few months ago. Apparently? After my eye issues started. My doctor believes this has been going on for months, but I didn’t notice because I am right eye dominant.

My right eye also has a few “histo spots” but shows no signs of complications since they aren’t near my central vision. While my chances of regaining the vision in my left eye are up in the air, my fears of going completely blind have been alleviated.

My fear of needles? Out in full force.

And, they expect me to come back to their torture chamber in 6 weeks. To once again ply me full of a dozen eye drops, pry open my eye and stick a needle in it! You might think with all the numbing agents, I wouldn’t really feel it. Oh, how I wish!

It didn’t hurt all that much, at the time, but the sensation of having something inside your eyeball is a bit creepy. It also hurt a lot after the meds wore off. I’m doing much better today, but I’m still sensitive to light and the computer screen hurts my eyes.

My future’s so bright, I gotta wear shades…

Read the comments.
9
Bleeding In Your Eye Is As Scary As It Sounds
Jul 19, 2010 | Filed Under: Behind the Mask, Sick & Tired

A couple weeks ago, I woke up with a headache, sore throat, stuffy nose and blurry vision. None of this is odd—I get strep throat & sinus infections several times per year, and if I wore my glasses more often there’s a chance I could see clearly.

My cold went away, and I could see again—in my right eye. My left eye? Still pretty blurry. Then something weird happened Friday night. The blurry vision? Was suddenly very localized, like there’s a big bubble in the center of my eye. It’s a good thing I spent so many years in marching band—if peripheral vision is all I’ve got, I’m glad it’s so well developed.

I went to Lenscrafters in my first free minute on Saturday. They were booked but scheduled an appointment for Sunday. I flunked most of my pre-screening tests. You know,the ones for my left eye. Then, I headed back to see the eye doc. Yes, this is Lenscrafters but he’s an independent ophthalmologist and has always been great with Brenia.

He asked a lot of questions, looked at my retinal pictures and told me my problem was beyond his expertise. Um, that’s not something you want to hear. Ever. I have a retinal bleed, causing wet macular degeneration—a central vision blind spot. He referred me to a retinal specialist (appointment at 1:15 today) for immediate surgery.

There’s an 80% chance my vision will be completely restored once they stop the bleeding. That’s a passing grade and everything, but that 20%? Sounds awfully high when you’re talking about my sight.

I. Am. Terrified.

And, not just about losing my vision. It took me most of yesterday (with lots of tears that are possibly not good for a bleeding eye), but I’ve come to terms with that. I think. It’s just one eye, anyway. I’m currently ignoring Dr. Google who hints that it could happen to the other one as well. Dr. Google is mean and scary.

I’m scared of surgery. They’re going to point laser beams at my eye. My eye!

I’m scared of the financial ramifications. Our insurance is basically sucky, our HSA is fairly depleted from other events, we just received a huge list of repairs for the rental house we own, and our savings account? Not what it should be.

My eyesight or letting Lorelai go to preschool as planned? My eyesight or keeping the girls in their current school. My eyesight or the Disney vacation my girls have been excited about for months? I might honestly choose all the things my girls “need” except that my personal income pretty much relies on my eyes. How can I blog blind? But, we’re ignoring that possibility for the moment.

Except. I’m not.

Read the comments.
1
Finding Me in Mini Moments
Jun 04, 2010 | Filed Under: 40x40, Sponsored Post

This is a Sponsored Post written by me on behalf of Dove Ice Cream. All opinions are 100% mine.

One of the things I had lost in years of being a wife & mom was me—and I’m taking it back. It’s all too easy to get caught up in the grocery shopping, shoe tying, dinner prep & laundy—oh, the laundry! Somewhere along the way, I kinda forgot how to be Just Heather. Then, I sorta forgot how to be a good wife.

That’s where the 40×40 list & alphabet dating projects come in. It’s not about stressing myself out to cross off a list. It isn’t even just about having an excuse & motivation to do things I’ve always wanted to do. It’s about trying to figure out who I want to be when I grow up. It’s helping me take the—like riding a carousel like a kid—to relearn who I am again.

From big moments like graduating from college to small ones like eating cotton candy at the carnival, I’m discovering how to be someone other than Stacia, Brenia & Lorelai’s mom or Spencer’s wife. Then, there are the even smaller moments—indulging in a piece of chocolate I bought just for me, curling up with a book in a quiet house or soaking in a hot bubble bath at the end of a long day.

Dove Ice Cream gets mini moments! I am dying to try the miniatures—tiny bits of ice cream wrapped in Dove chocolate. At only 70 calories, I won’t even have to pretend to feel guilty.

They are sponsoring a “My Mini Moment” contest, with the chance to win a mini-getaway to Napa Valley, Spa services for a year or a mini-home makeover. To enter, submit a photo & essay by June 7th.

I think I would choose a mini-home makeover right about now—I’ve been on a declutter & clean kick and I’d love to cap it off with a redesign. What would you choose?

Visit my sponsor: “My Mini Moment” contest

Read the comments.
1
Editing the 40×40 List
Jun 01, 2010 | Filed Under: 40x40, Go Team!

I put a lot of time & effort into creating my 40×40 list. I revised, edited & felt pretty confident that I was publishing my official, permanent, final draft. A couple years into the project, I’m editing it for the very first time.

Blame Casey.

Well, okay—so it’s not all her fault. The original sports-related item stated “Own season tickets to a local sports team—good seats.” And, while that’s still a wish list item, I am changing it to something that is both bigger & more attainable.

The idea started when I added “Attend an Indians game.” to my ever-growing summer fun list. It grew when One 2 One Network offered me tickets to take my family to a Fever game in July. I was thrown completely over the edge when Casey wrote about her Indy 500 experience. I don’t just want to see one, single Indy team.

I want to see them all!

The 40×40 list has officially been edited. I’ve been to many, many Pacer games. I’ve been to a Colts game. I’ve been to the Brickyard. I’ve been to Supercross—10 times! This summer, I’m checking out the Fever. By the end of my 40×40 journey? I’ll add the Indians, the 500 and the Ice.

27. Attend every sporting event in the Indianapolis area at least once.

Read the comments.
1
K Is for Aimless Wandering
May 24, 2010 | Filed Under: Alphabet Dating

When we began planning our alphabet dating journey, I knew there would be a few letters that tripped us up. We certainly weren’t planning to learn how to quilt together nor will we be playing a xylophone. Then it hit me—Q is for Queen for a Day! Of course, that means I had to give up letter K.

We’re still figuring out letter X, but we’ve still got awhile.

A couple weeks go, we planned for a sitter & I let the hubby know it was time for him to plan our next date. I’m not sure you could call it “planned” but it seemed like he got a chance to take me to a few places I wouldn’t ordinarily go. First, his royal majesty wanted a smoothie (a la iCarly, of course) so we drove around for a bit looking for something Yelp assured us existed but that turned out to be closed.

We wandered around the Carmel Arts & Design District—which, by the way, boasts the World’s Smallest Children’s Art Museum (as verified by the Guinness Book of World Records). The museum was closed, but I can attest to the fact that it is tiny! We wandered up the street a bit to the Sweets Shoppe, just to check out the candy store our oldest frequents with her friends. I got chocolate, naturally, and he was able order his smoothie.

He has decided he doesn’t actually like smoothies.

For dinner, he decided on Mexican—so not my favorite but I do enjoy margaritas. They had a gorgeous one on special. As it was the largest margarita I’d ever been served, I barely finished half of it. At this point, Spencer decided he was going to teach me to play Go. Except, he left his board at home so we ran home to pick it up. On the way to the coffee shop, we somehow ended up at Netheads instead.

We had a Groupon that provided a pretty good deal anyway so he decided we should play. Well, more accurately, he played—I watched. We did play a couple rounds of Scene It on the X-Box but with the various mishaps throughout, I’m not sure we were able to declare a champion! (That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.)

This was clearly his day, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy myself. Spending time doing the things he loves is something I should probably do a lot more of. I used to—when you’re young & newly in love there’s just something about hanging on his arm while he plays video games or snuggling next to him to watch a movie you’d never pick. As the years go by, though, and time alone or together is few & far between, we’ve tried to choose things we could both enjoy.

Which means, I don’t scrapbook. He doesn’t play video games. I don’t watch chick flicks. He misses scary movies. I read a little less (even if it is still a lot). He plays less guitar. There’s less me and more we—on both sides—and that’s not always a good thing. If I lose myself, what’s left for him to love? Our 40×40 lists are helping, but we need to have the chance to share our separate interests together again.

Alphabet Dating to the rescue again—it’s been a journey of discovery & learning as well as reconnection, all along.

Read the comments.
« Older